It’s no secret that loneliness is one of the major problems of our culture, and it is also evident in the Church and among church workers and their families. Sometimes just being a church worker (or spouse or child) contributes to loneliness because we may not feel “safe” in getting too close to others, or they may hold us at arm’s length.
Dr. Mark Mayfield, who spoke at the 2025 NADCE Conference, wrote The Path Out of Loneliness: Finding and Fostering Connection to God, Ourselves, and One Another. In it he talks about the deep sense of hopelessness that can come from disconnection and loneliness. He describes the path forward as one that embraces identity, purpose, and hope. Identity is not simply “Who am I?” but also “Whose am I?” As Christians and church
workers, we KNOW the answer to that – we are children of God, baptized, redeemed by Christ, loved and called by name! But we also live in a fallen world that in subtle and
not-so-subtle ways bombards us with the lie that we are not enough, not good enough, etc.
Our purpose flows from our identity and how God has put us together and where he has placed us. And be careful! If one’s sense of identity has drifted from “child of God and
disciple of Jesus” to “senior pastor, school administrator, youth director, etc.” then it is no longer who and Whose we are and how He has made us, but may become what others believe we are supposed to do. Again, we know better, but that identity drift can shift our God-given purpose and gifting to a human-ordered purpose with pressure to perform.
As we live and function out of our true God-given identity and purpose, we can better navigate the challenges of life with hope. We know that God has promised to never leave us or forsake us, and that fuels our hope. Yet working through loneliness and disconnection is not an easy task, especially if we are walking this path alone or isolated.
If you feel the nudge to reflect on these things (or know a church worker or spouse who does), reach out to someone who will walk with you in the process. The Texas District has people ready to listen and care as you pray and process these things together. Texas District Care and Coaching Team and Texas District Hispanic Pastoral Care Team. For a counselor, contact Rev. Jim Otte at jotte@txlcms.org.