Several years ago, I read a coaching blog by Valerie Burton in which she stated that many effective leaders share what may seem like a counterintuitive trait – the capacity to love and be loved. What makes this so important?

When you are following, serving, or answering to someone in leadership, you likely will trust them more if you are confident that they see you and care about you as an individual. This is especially important if there are areas of significant change or of disagreement. It is easier to accept change that may be uncomfortable if we trust that the leader cares about us.

Following Christ means we must often sacrifice our own desires and comfort for the good of others and to align ourselves with Christ’s mission. When our leaders show they care about us and acknowledge our feelings, we are more likely to follow them and accept discomfort for the sake of Christ’s mission rather than just complain that we aren’t getting our way.

Leaders who only focus on “results” and neglect to seek to see and understand what their people (staff, volunteers, congregation) are feeling may experience resistance due to a lack of trust on the part of their people. But when people believe the leader cares about them and they also care about the leader, they can begin to work together through the resistance or conflict toward a more productive outcome.

Think about a challenge you are facing in a relationship (family, professional, ministry, etc.) and consider what it would look like to approach it in a loving and caring way. If you’d like to have someone help you talk through and process this, the Texas District has coaches and counselors who are equipped and ready to help you work through it. Texas District Care and Coaching Team and Texas District Hispanic Pastoral Care Team. For a counselor, contact Rev. Jim Otte.

By Diane Bahn